FAITH

(09,22,2022) Faith is having enough trust to believe in an entity such as God, a fellow human being or even a system or process. And then of course, one must have faith in one’s self. Faith can be a powerful ally, especially during times of distress. When I speak of faith in God, I do not refer to that of a particular religion but, rather, faith in a benevolent entity who created a paradise on this Earth and who would like to see it returned and preserved as the garden it once was. I have been a student of many religions and I have been baptized into more than one of them. The first was as a babe and was not of my choosing. The second one was of my choosing, as an adult, although I did eventually become aware that it, too, was flawed in that mortal men, under the pretext of divine inspiration, tend to create their own rules and standards by which we all must behave. In this manner, self righteous people, from any religion, may take an archaic expression from their holy tome, set their own interpretation to it, and claim that it was decreed by God. After years of studying the history of my first religion, I came to the conclusion that it had been misrepresenting itself for over a thousand years, and misguiding people to the point that it was the cause of the suffering and death of many innocent people. When I denounced this religion, I felt guilty because it was as though I was denying the existence of God. This former religion had led me on a path which had forced me to believe that I would suffer for eternity in the fires of an eternal hell, one of their own creation, due to my unforgiveable sin. For many years, I was like a person lost at sea, with neither a sextant nor an astrolabe to guide me home. I drifted aimlessly until I discovered an island. That island was my wife to be. I settled down and tried to create my own little paradise on Earth. For a few years, I was happy until the sudden tragic death of my life long best friend. The news had sent me spiraling down into an abyss from which not even my wife could help me to escape. Instead, I pushed her away and set my course on a path to self destruction. But, one night, in a moment filled with utter anguish, I cried out to God, asking for answers as to why terrible things happen. Although I had not talked or prayed to God since I was a child, I did not blame God for the death of my friend, as some so often tend to do. Thankfully, God rewarded me with a response. Just a moment after my plea, a sudden feeling of calm overtook me, and a comforting voice informed me that I would have the answers that I seek. I was so astonished that I could not speak of this to my wife, but, instead, I went to bed and contemplated the meaning of it all. The very next morning, I was roused by a knock at my door. When I opened it, two angelic creatures greeted me and asked if I ever wondered why terrible things happen. After overcoming the shock, my mind racing to determine the possibility of such a coincidence, I invited the two lovely ladies into the house to talk more on the subject. After taking this as a sign from God, I decided to study the Holy Bible with these two women. At that time, my wife was at work. When she returned home, I informed her of all that had transpired. She could not believe the change that she was seeing in my demeanour, and she gave me her blessing, soon joining in on the studies, herself. Eventually, we were both baptized into this new religion, causing my father to disown me. But, I had received some of the answers which I had sought and, as the years progressed, I attempted to teach others, family and friends, of the truths that I had learned and which had set me free. Unfortunately, it eventually became apparent that this new religion was no different from all the others. It had been brought out that they, too, were misrepresenting facts, taking scriptures out of context, in an effort to support their teachings that suited their own needs. There was just as much inner conflict amongst them as in every other religion. They, too, segregated themselves from everyone else, claiming to be the one true religion. Only their people would be those recognized by God as the chosen ones. The decision to abandon this religion was much more difficult, this time, and carried a heavy burden, for I sincerely felt as though I were deserting God. There was no escaping the feeling of emptiness that soon consumed me. I was racked with guilt, to the point that I suffered from the mental (and spiritual) stress. After consulting with a psychologist, on the advice of my family doctor, I was removed from the establishment where I had developed a reputation for being the ‘go to guy’ for getting things done. For years afterward, I blamed the religions for nurturing this guilt that I carried. But, it was I who had put myself in this predicament. For nearly one decade, I remained despondent, while my life seemed to go from bad to worse. Finally, at the urging of my wife, I decided to do something about my situation and become more proactive. We moved far away and I found a better job. Things began to improve but, after another decade, I began to feel the dark clouds of despair creeping up on me, yet again. We are all subjected to some events which, sadly, are unavoidable, such as the imminent death of one’s parents. Going home had revived old feelings and I began contemplating my own mortality. Soon, I became plagued with horrendous nightmares and found myself living in two worlds, consciousness and the ethereal dimension between that and semi-consciousness or dream state. At times, I hovered between the two, unsure of what was real. Being unable to differentiate, I began to worry, not for myself, but for my family. Thankfully, although I had deserted God, God had never deserted me. In my deepest, darkest moment of despair, God had heard my cry, again, and brought me comfort even though I had not felt worthy to seek it. Mercifully, I was given insight which, among other things, told me that one need not necessarily be religious in order to be spiritual and benefit from God’s grace. I still do not have all the answers which I sought but, I now have a much better understanding of God’s purpose. Over the course of many nights, the nightmares receded and I was blessed with many dreams which I can only describe as prophetic visions, all of a personal nature. So, I will not go into detail at this time. Suffice it to say that, since then, now over a decade ago, I have been at peace with my god and my life. I have been given purpose and a goal. I would also like to point out that, many times over, I have been witness to God’s merciful intervention, on my behalf, not just recently, but on several occasions, in retrospect, while I was growing up, that could very well have ended with my demise. It explains why I always had the feeling that there was a guardian angel watching over me. My renewed faith in God has kept me grounded and focused. As well, my strengthened faith in my wife has been thrice increased for she never deserted me, even during those most difficult times when I must have been unbearable to live with, although she did threaten to leave once or twice. And, even though I was struck with a debilitating neuro muscular disease, over seven years ago, I maintain faith in myself and those remaining abilities which I still possess. So, now, I have to trust in my faith in my fellow human beings. I hope that I have not caused undo concern, on the part of my readers, by exposing some of my innermost thoughts and beliefs. I merely wished to convey the power of faith. One is blessed to be strong in their faith, regardless of which religion they may practice, as long as one still remains open to the idea that we are all God’s children, and no race or creed is devoid of God’s favour. In God’s eyes, we are all brothers and sisters. Our neighbours, in any other country, should never be thought of as the enemy. If, through no fault of their own, they should happen to be under tyrannical rule, we should offer support until such time that the dictatorship is ended. Thusly, it heartens me to see Ukraine’s neighbours coming to their aid, supporting them in their most dire time, and condemning the Russian president, Putin, who is threatening their very lives. Even some Russian politicians are now calling for Putin’s resignation, others for his impeachment. I have faith in the good people of Russia and the fact that a concentrated effort, on their part, will result in Putin’s execration.